A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

银行家是那种在阳光明媚的时候把伞借给你，但一下雨就想把伞要回来的人。

A boy is naturally full of humor.

男孩天生就很幽默。

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

结论是你厌倦思考的地方。

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

没有阳光的日子就像黑夜。

A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

一个不诚实的人，你总是可以相信他是不诚实的。

A farce or comedy is best played; a tragedy is best read at home.

闹剧或喜剧最好演;悲剧最好在家里读。

A goal without a plan is just... a wish.

没有计划的目标只是…一个愿望。

A good book is a cheap read.

好书不贵读。

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.

一个考虑卡路里的美食家就像一个看表的蛋挞。

A great step towards independence is good humored stomach.

幽默的胃是迈向独立的重要一步。

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

幽默家是一个感觉不好，但感觉很好的人。

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

笑话是一种感情死亡的警句。

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

女人的想象力很敏捷;它从羡慕跳到爱情，从爱情跳到婚姻，一眨眼的功夫。

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

笑是一种惊喜。所有的幽默都是身体上的。我一直都是运动员，所以这对我来说很自然。

A legend is merely a man history decided to bugger.

传说只不过是历史决定要毁掉的一个人。