A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.

幽默感敏锐到足以让一个人看到他自己的荒谬之处，这种幽默感会使他远离所有的罪恶，或者几乎所有的罪恶，除非是那些值得犯下的罪行。

A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.

幽默感…需要护甲。一个人内心的喜悦和嘴角的笑意是一个人内心深处对生活有很好的把握的标志。

A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man.

幽默感是人类唯一的神圣品质。

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

微笑是一条曲线，能把一切都摆正。

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

对讽刺的品味比幽默感更能让人免于心碎，因为只有讽刺才能让人懂得自嘲。

A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.

老虎只需要三样东西就能舒服。充足的食物，充足的睡眠，事实上，不只是这两件事。

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.

真正的朋友是上帝赐予的礼物。既然上帝不存在，你猜怎么着?真正的朋友也是如此。

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

当你走在人生的钢丝上时，幽默感是平衡你脚步的支柱。

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.

妻子首先是朋友，其次是爱人，第三，也许也是最重要的，是女佣。

A wise man once said that any human being is capable of infinite achievement, so long as it’s not the work they’re supposed to be doing.

一位智者曾经说过，任何一个人都可以取得无限的成就，只要不是他们应该做的工作。

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.

一位智者曾经说过，永远不要在迪斯科舞厅里讨论哲学或政治。

A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.

明智的父母会满足独立行动的欲望，以便在他的绝对统治结束时成为朋友和顾问。

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.

女人需要男人，就像鱼需要网一样。

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

就像鱼儿不需要自行车，女人也不需要男人

A word to the wise is infuriating.

对聪明人说一句话就会使人生气。