A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humor
I have selective hearing.
我有选择性听力。
I never talk to tabloids.
我从不和小报说话。
Crazy gets all the knives.
疯子拿到了所有的刀。
Wit is educated insolence.
智慧是受过教育的傲慢。
Funerals aren't scheduled.
葬礼没有计划。
I get mail; therefore I am.
我收到的信件;故我在。
Try not to wake up on fire.
试着不要在火中醒来。
Men are men, mortal or not.
男人就是男人，不管是否会死。
Short cuts make long delays.
近路长耽搁。
A good book is a cheap read.
好书不贵读。
Man strives, and God laughs.
人奋斗，上帝大笑。
My favorite animal is steak.
我最喜欢的动物是牛排。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
即使你在正确的轨道上，如果你只是坐在那里，你也会被车撞倒。
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
当一件事很有趣的时候，仔细搜索它，寻找隐藏的真相。
Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.
任何说自己擅长撒谎的人显然都不是，因为任何一个真正精明的骗子都会坚持说自己对所有事情都是诚实的。
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
世界的美有两种，一种是欢笑，一种是痛苦，把人的心撕成了碎片。
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up.
为了让你们的婚姻美满， 爱在杯中， 无论什么时候你错了，都要承认; 只要你是对的，就闭嘴。
The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.
乐观主义者和悲观主义者的区别是什么?乐观的人笑着忘记，而悲观的人忘记笑。