Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.

聪明是当一个人狡猾到把你的想象错当成智慧的时候。聪明是当一个人认为他们受教育程度太高而没有注意到其中的差别。

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

咖啡是一种偷取时间的方式，按理说，这些时间应该属于年长的自己。

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

哥伦比亚的幽默很黑，很讽刺。

Comedy has had no history, because it was not at first treated seriously.

喜剧没有历史，因为它一开始没有被认真对待。

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor.

喜剧是很难做的，所以做死潘式幽默很酷。

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

常识和幽默感是一回事，它们以不同的速度运动。幽默感就是常识，跳舞。

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

常识是世界上最广泛分享的商品，因为每个人都相信自己拥有充足的常识。

Compromise is low class. I don't have anything against the poor, but being low class is the root of all evil.

妥协是低级的。我不反对穷人，但是底层是万恶之源。

Confidence and a good sense of humor can usually win a chick over.

自信和幽默感通常能赢得女孩子的芳心。

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

信心是无知。如果你感到骄傲，那是因为有些事情你不知道。

Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

恭喜你! 今天是属于你的日子。 你去了很棒的地方! 你走了!

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

良心是一种内在的声音，它警告我们可能有人在看我们。

Conservative humor is frankly harder than liberal humor. You get points for just being liberal. You can get more points if you make fun of your own side sometimes.

坦率地说，保守的幽默比自由的幽默更难。只要你是自由主义者，你就能得分。如果你有时取笑自己的球队，你可以得到更多的分数。

Crazy gets all the knives.

疯子拿到了所有的刀。

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

创造力是知道如何隐藏你的资源。