A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.
我不喜欢你们两个吵架你赢了。只需记住:行为。如果我听到任何有趣的事情，我会把你关起来直到冥河结冰。
I don't know very much but what I do know I know better than anybody, and I don't want to argue about it…My mind is not a bed to be made and re-made.
我知道的不多，但我所知道的我比任何人都清楚，我不想为此争论……我的头脑不是一张可以反复打造的床。
I always thought eating was a ridiculous activity anyway. I'd get out of it myself if I could, though you've got to do it to stay alive, they tell me.
我一直认为吃东西是一种可笑的行为。如果我能，我自己也会逃出来的，虽然他们告诉我，你必须这么做才能活下去。
I don't know if you've ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience, as I'm sure you can imagine.
我不知道你是否曾经从头到脚被带刺的灌木覆盖过，但是让我告诉你，这不是一个愉快的经历，我相信你可以想象。
The majority of the time a person can't be organised and creative, it's one or the other. However, if you happen to be both, then you're bloody amazing.
大多数时候，一个人不能有组织和创造力，不是这样就是那样。然而，如果你碰巧两者兼备，那你就太棒了。
After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?
毕竟，除了用头撞击宇宙直到有东西发生外，任何形式的科学探索都是可控的。
Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
假装疯了，说很多话。然后——这是最重要的一点——什么也不做，直到你绝对必须这样做，然后确保每个人都死了。
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, i'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside- remember all the times you've felt that way.
有时候你早上从床上爬起来，你想，我活不下去了，但你内心却在笑——记住所有你有过这种感觉的时候。
The grass on the other side of the hill may well be greener, but you should always check that there isn't something with teeth and claws crouching in it.
山那边的草可能更绿，但是你应该经常检查一下，看有没有什么东西是带着牙齿和爪子蜷缩在里面的。
I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream. You'd be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavors.
我认为在男人和女人之间做选择就像在蛋糕和冰淇淋之间做选择一样。当有这么多不同的口味时，你不同时尝试这两种口味是愚蠢的。
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
我最近去拉丁美洲旅行，唯一的遗憾是我没有在学校里更努力地学习拉丁语，这样我就可以和那些人交谈了。
The lovely Hazard girls', they used to call them. Huh. Lovely is as lovely does; if they looked like what they behave like, they'd frighten little children.
“可爱的哈扎德女孩”，她们常这么叫她们。嗯。可爱的行为才是可爱的;如果他们看起来像他们的行为，他们会吓到小孩子。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best.
只有平庸才能被相信永远处于最佳状态。
The great are eternally at the mercy of tiny men. And also, tiny madwomen.
伟人永远受小人的支配。还有，小疯女人。
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.
解释一个笑话就像解剖一只青蛙。你能更好地理解，但青蛙在这个过程中死了。
Incidentally, I only have one cavity, and as much as my dentist asks me to, I just can't bring myself to floss.
顺便说一句，我只有一个蛀牙，尽管牙医要求我这么做，我就是不能用牙线。
On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
总的来说，人类想要变好，但不是太好，也不是一直都很好。
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
我反对设置警戒线，但我不知道如何表达。