A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
I lean over and put my good ear to his lips, which tickle me as he whispers. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me any time you like it.
我俯下身去，把我的好耳朵贴在他的唇边，当他低声细语时，我感到痒痒的。“记住，我们疯狂地相爱，所以你喜欢什么时候吻我都可以。
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
即使是知识分子也不会接受我。身体上，我看起来像他们中的一个。我两鬓斑白，走路有点跛，戴着一副厚厚的眼镜。
When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.
当你溺水时，你不会说“如果有人有先见之明发现我溺水并来救我，我会非常高兴”，你只是尖叫。
Writing is like a lump of coal. Put it under enough pressure and polish it enough and you might just end up with a diamond. Otherwise, you can burn it to keep warm.
写作就像一块煤。把它放在足够大的压力下，打磨得足够好，最终你可能会得到一颗钻石。否则，你可以燃烧它来保暖。
I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
我不知道你是否也有过同样的经历，但我在讲故事的时候总会遇到这样一个难题:从哪里开始。
The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralization of the overly curious mind through faith.
教会从来没有被要求解释任何事情，我们的专业，连同弹道学，一直是通过信仰中和过度好奇的头脑。
Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are more ambitious to excel.
在所有的写作中，没有哪一种写作比幽默作品更容易出错，因为没有哪一种写作比幽默作品更有野心超越他人。
Unfortunately it's also true to say that good management is a bit like oxygen - it's invisible and you don't notice its presence until it's gone, and then you're sorry.
不幸的是，好的管理有点像氧气——它是看不见的，直到它消失你才会注意到它的存在，然后你会后悔。
People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.
人们过去常常讽刺地说一些显而易见的事情，或者作为一种轻描淡写的形式，但在过去的几十年里，他们似乎是带着一种发现感说这些的，这让我很担心。
It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something.
我突然想到和这么大的男人约会是多么棒的一件事。如果你厌倦了和他约会，你可以把他当成房子什么的。
He was silent for a moment, staring out the window into the rain; I imagined he was contemplating the fact that his family's presence was turning the locals into giant dogs.
他沉默了一会儿，望着窗外的雨;我猜想他正在考虑这样一个事实:他的家人的出现正把当地人变成巨大的狗。
I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.
我爱上了足球，就像后来爱上女人一样:突然间，莫名其妙地，不加批判地，完全没有考虑到足球带来的痛苦和破坏。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me.
我不相信鬼，但他们盲目地相信我。
I am a writer, I'm supposed to be intense and emotional.
我是一个作家，我应该是热情和感性的。
Through the door came a being of intense vivacity, impeccable sartorial integrity, and intermittent intelligibility.
从门里进来的是一个充满活力的存在，无可挑剔的服装完整性，断断续续的可理解性。
Your manuscript is both good and original; but the parts that are good are not original, and the parts that are original are not good.
你的稿子既好又新颖。但好的部分不是原创的，原创的部分也不是好的。
Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.
直到我害怕失去它，我才喜欢读书。人不爱呼吸。
A brain the size of a pea, cannot achieve what a brain the size of a melon can!!
一个豌豆大小的大脑，无法达到西瓜大小的大脑所能达到的!!