A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
搞笑
Funny
It's funny - in elementary school, I went by Amber. I never liked Tiffani.
有趣的是，在小学的时候，我叫安布尔。我从来都不喜欢蒂芬尼。
Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her.
一旦他的妻子入睡，只需轻微的核爆炸就能把她吵醒。
Nobody should try to play comedy unless they have a circus going on inside.
除非里面有马戏团，否则任何人都不应该去演喜剧。
We look forward to seeing all of your Vaseline coated smiles terribly soon.
我们期待着你所有的凡士林涂层笑容可怕的很快。
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
我有足够的钱度过我的余生，除非我买些东西。
Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then help me find a nose.
别傻站在那儿，白痴。叫医生来，然后帮我找个鼻子。
I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.
我所知道的最可笑的事莫过于一位没有老死的医生。
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
我的反应很差。我有一次被两个人推着的车辗过。
You have to lift a person up before you can really put them in their place.
你必须先把一个人扶起来，然后才能真正把他们放在他们该放的地方。
Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
中年是你宽阔的心胸和细腰开始发生变化的时候。
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
如果不是所有的文件，文书工作也不会那么糟糕。和工作。
I always sleep with my mouth open. I know because it's open when i wake up.
我总是张着嘴睡觉。我知道是因为我醒来的时候它是开着的。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.
让我们永远不知道什么是老年。让我们知道时间带来的快乐，而不是数着岁月。
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
当我们回忆过去的时候，我们通常会发现，那些最简单的事情，而不是那些伟大的时刻，在我们回想的时候，会给我们带来最大的快乐。
Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be taken seriously. Yet most of the important things in life cannot be precisely defined or measured. Can we define or measure love, beauty, friendship, or decency, for example?
我们的科学时代要求我们提供定义、测量和统计数据，以便被认真对待。然而，生活中大多数重要的事情都无法精确定义或衡量。例如，我们能定义或衡量爱、美、友谊或体面吗?
Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
年龄似乎有四样东西是最好的:旧木头最好烧，陈酒最好喝，老朋友最好信任，老作家最好读。
Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.
生活只是一场梦，我们是自己的想象。
What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.
虽然青春给了我们爱情和玫瑰，但岁月给我们留下了朋友和美酒。