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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

  • -- Rita Rudner 丽塔拉德娜

经常把马桶座圈翘起来的男人会偷偷地想让女人半夜起来上厕所然后掉进去。

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Secretly Bathroom Men

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The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.

我和你在一起的时光，我把它看作是一个芳香四溢的花园，一个朦胧的黄昏，一个向它歌唱的喷泉。只有你让我觉得我还活着。有人说看见过天使，但我看见过你，你就够了。

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The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.

一个不知名的好人所做的工作就像一条藏在地下的水脉，秘密地使地面变绿。

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On fame: It all happened so fast. I'd wake up in the night and go, 'I can't believe it. I've gotta go to the bathroom!

关于名气:这一切发生得太快了。我会在夜里醒来，然后说，‘我不敢相信。我要上厕所了!

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All men should have a drop of treason in their veins, if nations are not to go soft like so many sleepy pears.

如果一个国家不像这么多沉睡的梨子一样变得软弱，那么所有人的血管里都应该有一点叛逆的血液。

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The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

衡量一个人是否诚实的最好标准不是他的所得税申报表。这是他浴室磅秤上的零点调整。

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Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.

给他们想要的东西，他们当然会立刻惊慌失措。

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