I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

-- Victor Borge 维托·埔柱

我要感谢我的父母使这一切成为可能。我要感谢我的孩子们使这成为必要。

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I wish that television would stop selling our hatred of ourselves, and start seducing us with our love of ourselves.

我希望电视能停止兜售我们对自己的仇恨，开始用我们对自己的爱来诱惑我们。

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A guy once told me that I sound like I'm a little ahead of myself. I can't wait to thank him at the Oscars.

有个人曾经告诉我，我听起来有点超前了。我等不及要在奥斯卡颁奖典礼上感谢他了。

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I'm thankful for not ever taking anything illegal.

我很感激没有拿任何违法的东西。

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First of all, I wish I could grow a beard.

首先，我希望我能留胡子。

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