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But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

  • -- David Sedaris 大卫·塞达拉斯

但我是个幽默作家。我不是记者，我从来没有假装成记者。

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Reporter Pretended

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A reporter is always concerned with tomorrow. There's nothing tangible of yesterday. All I can say I've done is agitate the air ten or fifteen minutes and then boom - it's gone.

记者总是关心明天。昨天没有任何有形的东西。我只能说我所做的就是搅动空气十到十五分钟，然后轰的一声，它就消失了。

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At Cambridge, it was the weirdest culture. Everyone pretended they didn't do any work, yet it was so competitive.

在剑桥，这是最奇怪的文化。每个人都假装什么也没做，但竞争太激烈了。

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Often I pretended to a cameraman to know less than I did. That way I got more cooperation.

我经常对摄影师假装知道得比我少。这样我得到了更多的合作。

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Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper.

我早年就注意到报纸上从来没有正确报道过任何事件。

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