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I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

  • -- Stephen Colbert 斯蒂芬科尔伯特

我过去经常在我的简历里编造一些东西，比如我曾经是一名专业滑冰运动员之类的。我发现它很鼓舞人心。为什么不让自己凉快一点呢?

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It is critical that parents and other trusted adults initiate conversations with kids about underage drinking well in advance of the first time they are faced with a decision regarding alcohol.

至关重要的是，父母和其他值得信赖的成年人要在孩子第一次面对有关酒精的决定之前，就开始与他们谈论未成年人饮酒的问题。

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People just want to know something, anything. It's all the stuff you never want to talk about, the private stuff.

人们只是想知道一些事情，任何事情。这些都是你永远不想谈的私事。

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I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.

我有一些关于航空公司合并的东西，这表明我的单口相声越来越疯狂了。

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It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

这应该很难。如果不是很难，每个人都会去做。困难使它伟大。

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I trip over my legs all the time. I'll wave to somebody, look up, and end up eating pavement.

我总是被我的腿绊倒。我会向某人招手，抬头看，最后吃到人行道。

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A little consideration, a little thought for other makes all the difference.

多一点体谅，多一点为别人着想，就会有天壤之别。

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