I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you're going to make a lousy comedian.

-- David Steinberg 石眼山

我曾经有一个理论，如果你有一个美好的童年，美满的婚姻，银行里有一点钱，你就会成为一个糟糕的喜剧演员。

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Comedian Bank

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I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.

我只是喜欢观察别人——这是我从小就做的事情，而且我做得很好。这也是我成为喜剧演员的一个重要原因。我的听众中有各种各样你能想象得到的人，我喜欢这样。

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I regret the passing of the studio system. I was very appreciative of it because I had no talent.

我对演播室制度的消失感到遗憾。我很感激，因为我没有天赋。

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I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

我没有银行账户，因为我不知道我母亲的娘家姓。

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I have always been afraid of banks.

我一直害怕银行。

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