A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
每个人都知道，如果你太小心，你是如此专注于小心，你一定会绊倒一些东西。
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a sane employee in possession of his wits must be in want of a good manager.
一个举世公认的真理是，一个头脑清醒、头脑聪明的员工一定需要一位优秀的经理。
Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.
正确的。因为如果你在热狗上放番茄酱和芥末有困难，你完全应该去拯救生命。
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
战争是带着微笑玩的游戏。如果你不能微笑，那就微笑。如果你不能咧着嘴笑，那就在你能笑之前别挡道。
Food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.
当你一想到自己就要死了就马上吃下食物时，它的美味程度至少要高出三百万。
I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them off that makes me better than you.
我像其他人一样，一次只穿一条腿。是我脱鞋的方式让我比你更好。
One group of riders doped, the others alongside them racing clean. You can work out for yourselves which group was fastest.
一组车手服用了兴奋剂，其他车手则在他们旁边干净地比赛。你们可以自己算出哪个组最快。
If asked which words one associated with the Sahara, only the most dedicated surrealist might be expected to offer "whale".
如果被问及哪一个词与撒哈拉有关，只有最有献身精神的超现实主义者才会给出“鲸鱼”。
Either a species learns to control its own population, or something like disease, famine, war, will take care of the issue.
一个物种要么学会控制自己的人口，要么疾病、饥荒、战争之类的事情会解决这个问题。
If a book falls open in a library and no one sees it, is it still writing? Or is it simply a page bearing abstract markings?
如果一本书在图书馆打开了，没有人看到，它还在写吗?还是仅仅是带有抽象标记的页面?
While an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance, and when he is dead we rate them by his best.
作家在世时，我们以他最差的作品来评价他的力量;死后，我们以他最好的作品来评价他的力量。
Intellectual controversies tend to be like dog fights without the teeth, in which the barking not the biting does the damage.
智力上的争论往往就像没有牙齿的狗打架，造成伤害的不是咬人，而是吠叫。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Achieve everything and fail at the rest.
完成每件事，然后在剩下的事情上失败。
Advertising - a judicious mixture of flattery and threats.
广告——奉承和威胁的明智结合。
When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.
当你溺水时，你不会说“如果有人有先见之明发现我溺水并来救我，我会非常高兴”，你只是尖叫。
I am a writer, I'm supposed to be intense and emotional.
我是一个作家，我应该是热情和感性的。
I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.
我认为犬儒主义经常把自己伪装成幽默。
Interest? What's money interested in? More money.
兴趣?钱感兴趣的是什么?更多的钱。