A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then...
我想我已经受够危险有一段时间了。我十三岁的时候可能会喝更多，但在那之前绝对不会……
Well, some men learn by listening, some read, some observe and analyze and some of us just have to pee on the electric fence.
嗯，有些男人通过倾听来学习，有些人通过阅读，有些人通过观察和分析来学习，而我们中的一些人则不得不在电围栏上撒尿。
She had her head in a book. Like me she preferred reading about travel to actually traveling; it was so much more comfortable.
她埋头读书。和我一样，她更喜欢阅读有关旅行的书籍，而不是真正的旅行;那里舒服多了。
He begged hard, and said he couldn't play-a plausible excuse, but too thin; there wasn't a musician in the country that could.
他苦苦哀求，说他不能玩——这似乎是一个合理的借口，但太牵强;这个国家没有一个音乐家能做到这一点。
And it's a pity too that I've no right to open your letters. I hope you don't get many, or my conscience will give me no peace.
也很遗憾我没有权利打开你的信。我希望你不要打太多，否则我的良心会不安的。
I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that.
我一直都很有幽默感，现在依然如此，所以我只想继续表演，尽我所能。就是这么简单。
If world peace was as important to people as getting tweeted back by their favourite celebrity, we'd live in a blissful Utopia.
如果世界和平对人们来说就像他们最喜欢的名人回推特一样重要，我们就会生活在一个幸福的乌托邦里。
Ah! The English language was a wonderful thing! You could always find the right word. He only wished he could speak the language.
啊!英语真是太棒了!你总能找到合适的词。他只希望他能说这种语言。
When I hear somebody talk about a horse or cow being stupid; I figure it's a sure sign that the animal has somehow outfoxed them.
当我听到有人说马或牛很蠢;我想这是一个肯定的迹象，表明这只动物在某种程度上已经超过了它们。
I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
我常常会在一时冲动之下得出相当明智的想法和判断。只有当我停止思考的时候，我才会变得愚蠢。
It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse.
在你的观众几乎在道德上必须热情高涨的情况下，表现得痛苦而无趣应该是一种冒犯。
May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch.
愿一千只骆驼的跳蚤侵入破坏你一天的人的胯部。愿他们的手臂短得太抓人。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Stop worrying about life, no one survived it.
别再担心生活了，没人能活下来。
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
如果你想让上帝发笑，告诉他你的计划。
Don't tell me I should only talk to people with a high influence score, or I'll Klout you.
别跟我说我应该只跟影响力高的人说话，否则我就揍你。
Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
正常只是你烘干机上的一个设置。
I am on the divorce detox diet. I only eat younger men.
我正在进行离婚排毒减肥。我只吃年轻人。
I don't know the rules of grammar... If you're trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular.
我不懂语法规则……如果你试图说服人们做某事，或者买东西，在我看来，你应该使用他们的语言，他们每天使用的语言，他们思考的语言。我们尽量用方言写作。