The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
第三位裁判应该像换尿布一样经常更换，原因是一样的。
A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
搞笑
Funny
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
许多男人把他的成功归功于他的第一任妻子和第二任妻子。
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
人们总是问我，‘你小时候有趣吗?“不，我是会计。
I've only ever known growing up across different countries - to me it's just fun.
我只知道在不同的国家长大——对我来说，这很有趣。
Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
时代变了。农民的女儿现在讲起了旅行推销员的笑话。
People think it’s funny when a dumb person can’t do things the same way they can.
当一个哑巴不能像他们一样做事时，人们会觉得很有趣。
Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.
用眼睛看，用心灵思考的人很少。
The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.
科学的最新发展与石器时代的残酷相联系。
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice; Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.
女士们，先生们，请接受我的建议;拉下你的裤子，在冰上滑行。
I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.
我喜欢做一个有趣的节目，在那里我不需要表演和爱上一个女孩。
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
我也养了条狗。我们称他为埃及。因为他在每个房间都留下一个金字塔。
People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.
人们认为我的散步很有趣。见鬼，我只是想控制住自己的情绪。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Learning is the indispensable investment required for success in the 'information age' we are entering.
在我们即将进入的“信息时代”，学习是成功必不可少的投资。
Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.
让我们永远不知道什么是老年。让我们知道时间带来的快乐，而不是数着岁月。
The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.
我们对一个有趣的故事看得越长越仔细，它就变得越悲伤。
In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.
生活中，所有美好的事物都来之不易，但智慧却是最难获得的。
What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.
虽然青春给了我们爱情和玫瑰，但岁月给我们留下了朋友和美酒。
Imagine staying awake all night not because you're worried about the future but because it's fun.
想象一下，整夜不睡不是因为你担心未来，而是因为它很有趣。
A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT
给此刻的你，一点向前的力量。
关于学习、善意与成长，读一句，再想一想。
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
朋友不会因为你胖而节食。
Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
年龄似乎有四样东西是最好的:旧木头最好烧，陈酒最好喝，老朋友最好信任，老作家最好读。
A true friend will dance with you in the middle of the streets to no music and think it's completely normal.
一个真正的朋友会在没有音乐的情况下和你在大街上跳舞，并认为这是完全正常的。