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We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

  • -- Bill Watterson 比尔沃特森

我们没有投入足够的科学研究来寻找治疗混蛋的方法。

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Research Comedian Jerks School

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Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn't been any radio that did that. And so they weren't trained - they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.

是的，但是你需要一个经验丰富的电台老手，一个自由主义的拥护者。当时没有任何一台收音机能做到这一点。所以他们没有受过训练——他们养成了所有这些客观、平衡的坏习惯，诸如此类。

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The best way to conduct research on a larger scale is to make sure everyone knows what everyone else is doing... The sooner the better - start talking to other people about what you're doing. Because that's what will stimulate things the fastest.

进行大规模研究的最好方法是确保每个人都知道其他人在做什么……越快越好——开始和别人谈论你正在做的事情。因为这是最快的刺激。

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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

有时候当我说话的时候，我的语言跟不上我的思想。我想知道为什么我们思考的速度比说话的速度快。也许这样我们可以三思而后行。

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There was no "before" the beginning of our universe, because once upon a time there was no time.

我们的宇宙没有“以前”的开始，因为从前没有时间。

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I've got research, I have my own life experience I can apply, and I have my imagination.

我有研究，我有我自己的生活经验，我可以应用，我有我的想象力。

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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

周一早晨，我致力于一个观点:所有的人都是天生的混蛋。

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I soon found law school an unmitigated bore.

我很快就发现法学院是个十足的讨厌鬼。

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