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We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

  • -- Bill Watterson 比尔沃特森

我们没有投入足够的科学研究来寻找治疗混蛋的方法。

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Research Comedian Jerks School

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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

有时候当我说话的时候，我的语言跟不上我的思想。我想知道为什么我们思考的速度比说话的速度快。也许这样我们可以三思而后行。

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We go old-school during the summer, like swimming or setting up lemonade stands. I try to teach my kids to make their own fun.

我们在夏天会去上小学，喜欢游泳或者摆摊卖柠檬水。我试着教我的孩子们自己找乐子。

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Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought.

研究就是去看别人都看过的东西，去想别人没想过的东西。

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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

周一早晨，我致力于一个观点:所有的人都是天生的混蛋。

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A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, - a mere heart of stone.

一个搞科学的人应该没有愿望，没有感情，只有一颗铁石心肠。

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Research is a wonderful word for writers. It serves as excuse for everything.

研究对于作家来说是一个很好的词。这是一切的借口。

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One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria.

一个人总是在最歇斯底里的时候写喜剧。

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