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We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

  • -- Bill Watterson 比尔沃特森

我们没有投入足够的科学研究来寻找治疗混蛋的方法。

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Research Comedian Jerks School

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The best way to conduct research on a larger scale is to make sure everyone knows what everyone else is doing... The sooner the better - start talking to other people about what you're doing. Because that's what will stimulate things the fastest.

进行大规模研究的最好方法是确保每个人都知道其他人在做什么……越快越好——开始和别人谈论你正在做的事情。因为这是最快的刺激。

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And I really do think that the difficulty of research makes it more real to you than punching a thing to find out how many men were killed at this particular action.

我真的认为，研究的困难使你更真实，而不是用拳头打一件事来找出有多少人在这一特定行动中丧生。

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I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

我当然不是爱情方面的权威，因为爱情方面没有权威，只有那些幸运的人和没有幸运的人。

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It will free man from the remaining chains, the chains of gravity which still tie him to this planet.

它将把人类从剩余的枷锁中解放出来，这些枷锁仍然把人类和这个星球联系在一起。

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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

周一早晨，我致力于一个观点:所有的人都是天生的混蛋。

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My only goal as a comedian was to stomp the life out of the model-minority myth.

作为一名喜剧演员，我唯一的目标就是打破模特少数族裔的神话。

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I see nothing in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel.

在太空中，没有什么比从摩天轮上看到的景色更有希望了。

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