I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

-- Mitch Hedberg 米奇·赫德伯格

我希望我的名字是布莱恩，因为有时人们会拼错我的名字，叫我布莱恩。这就像免费的赞美，你甚至不需要聪明地去注意它。

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When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.

当我们原谅罪恶时，我们不会原谅它，我们不会容忍它，我们不会扼杀它。我们直面邪恶，不管它是什么，让它的恐怖震撼、震撼、激怒我们，只有这样我们才会原谅它。

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I'm really not sure what people think or expect me to be, but I am surprised when people say, 'You're not supposed to be like that... ' I'm not exactly sure what 'that' is, so I choose to take it as a compliment.

我真的不确定人们对我的看法或期望，但当人们说，‘你不应该是那样的……“我不太清楚那是什么，所以我选择把它当作一种赞美。”

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It turns out that my memory is just not that great, so for specific scenes with people doing stuff, sometimes I'd have the details all wrong or I couldn't remember what happened exactly, so I just let that be.

事实证明，我的记忆力不是很好，所以对于人们做事情的特定场景，有时我会把细节全搞错，或者我记不清到底发生了什么，所以我就顺其自然了。

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I felt ashamed about everything. Me dropping out of high school, me not, you know, just not being beautiful enough. I just didn't feel like I was smart enough or beautiful enough, you know, for years.

我为每件事感到羞耻。我从高中辍学，我不是，你知道，只是不够漂亮。多年来，我一直觉得自己不够聪明，不够漂亮。

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Abstract painting is abstract. It confronts you. There was a reviewer a while back who wrote that my pictures didn't have any beginning or any end. He didn't mean it as a compliment, but it was.

抽象绘画是抽象的。它面对你。前阵子有个评论家说我的画没有开头也没有结尾。他不是想恭维你，但确实是。

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A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.

一个舒适的晚年是一个度过美好青春的奖赏。它不会给我们带来衰败的凄凉前景，而会给我们带来在更美好的世界里永葆青春的希望。

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If a poem is not memorable, there's probably something wrong. One of the problems of free verse is that much of the free verse poetry is not memorable.

如果一首诗不值得纪念，那很可能是出了什么问题。自由诗的一个问题是，很多自由诗都不值得纪念。

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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

亚里士多德教导说，大脑的存在只是为了冷却血液，而不是参与思考的过程。只有某些人是这样。

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The brain can process two million bits of information per second. It remembers everything you've ever seen, everything you've ever heard.

大脑每秒可以处理两百万比特的信息。它能记住你所看到的一切，所听到的一切。

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I do notice that when I've been away and I come back to London. People look at you. People are ready to pick arguments.

我确实注意到，当我离开后回到伦敦时。人们看着你。人们随时都可以选择争论。

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Maybe I'm just purely lucky. If I've come up against obstacles I've always found another way around it.

也许我只是单纯的幸运。如果我遇到了障碍，我总会找到另一条路绕过它。

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I think hopefully we've got enough brain cells left to decide if our music is really worth something.

我希望我们有足够的脑细胞来决定我们的音乐是否真的有价值。

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I gotta be honest with you...I hate numbers. I hate chapter numbers. I hate them.

我得跟你说实话…我讨厌数字。我讨厌章节编号。我讨厌他们。

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Even though I didn't get a business degree, I enjoyed learning about economics.

虽然我没有商科学位，但我喜欢学习经济学。

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No, you can't call your vote in. You have to be there on the floor to vote.

不，你不能投票。你必须到现场投票。

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You never leave my mind. Even when I have a million things to worry about.

你从未离开我的心。即使我有很多事情要担心。

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Middle -age is the time of life, that a man first notices - in his wife.

中年是男人一生中最先注意到的阶段——在他的妻子身上。

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Nigera is what it is because its leaders are not what they should be.

尼格拉之所以如此，是因为它的领导人不是他们应该成为的样子。

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My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

父亲会带我去操场，让我情绪波动。

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You can only be free as an artist if you're free as a person.

只有当你是一个自由的人的时候，你才能成为一个自由的艺术家。

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The longer you wait to handle something, the harder it gets.

你等的时间越长，事情就越难处理。

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Sometimes even a smart crowd will make a mistake.

有时甚至聪明的人也会犯错。

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Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame.

也许这是我和我盲目的乐观主义造成的。

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You've gotta know what death is to know life!

你必须知道死亡是什么才能了解生命!

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I'm retiring because my time is up.

我退休了，因为我的时间到了。

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I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

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