The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.

-- Lewis Black 刘易斯·布莱克

整个情人节都很好，但是你不能把它和一年中最大的送礼节日放在一起。难以置信。我们发现这是可以接受的。

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Holiday Valentine

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This is my saddest story: In grade school, they would have us open our Valentine's cards and read them out loud. I always sent cards to myself because nobody else did.

这是我最悲伤的故事:在小学，他们会让我们打开情人节卡片，大声读出来。我总是给自己寄贺卡，因为没有人这么做。

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A holiday is when you celebrate something that's all finished up, that happened a long time ago and now there's nothing left to celebrate but the dead.

节日是庆祝一些已经结束的事情，那是很久以前的事了，现在除了死者没有什么可庆祝的了。

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Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!

如果让我来选择你，并把你称为我的爱人，那么，你每天都是我的情人。

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Today is declared an unscheduled holiday.

今天被宣布为临时假日。

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