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Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

  • -- Deborah Tannen 德博拉·坦嫩

沟通是一种持续的平衡行为，在亲密和独立的需求之间平衡。为了在这个世界上生存，我们必须与他人合作，但是为了作为我们自己而生存，而不仅仅是作为一个齿轮上的齿轮，我们必须独自行动。

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Integrity/Individuality Interdependence Communication Community Survive

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Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong.

然后，在没有意识到的情况下，你试着在新的一天开始的时候提高自己;当然，你在这段时间里取得了很大的成就。任何人都可以做到这一点，这是免费的，当然是非常有益的。谁不知道，就必须从经验中学习和发现，平静的良心使人坚强。

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To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.

要使世界秩序井然，我们首先必须使国家秩序井然;要治理好国家，首先要治理好家庭;为了使家庭井然有序，我们必须首先培养我们的个人生活;我们必须先把心摆正。

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Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

通过幽默，你可以减轻生活中一些最糟糕的打击。一旦你找到了笑声，不管你的处境有多痛苦，你都能挺过去。

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For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

对大多数女性来说，谈话的语言主要是一种和谐的语言:一种建立联系和协商关系的方式。

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When a language creates as it does a community within the present, it does so only by courtesy of a community between the present and the past.

当一种语言在当下创造出一个共同体时，它只能通过一个介于现在和过去之间的共同体来实现。

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Friendship is something that creates equality and mutuality, not a reward for finding equality or a way of intensifying existing mutuality.

友谊是创造平等和相互关系的东西，而不是寻找平等的奖赏，也不是加强现有相互关系的一种方式。

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When all is said and done, the real citadel of strength of any community is in the hearts and minds and desires of those who dwell there.

当所有的事情都说了，做了，任何社区真正的力量堡垒是在那些居住在那里的人的心里，思想和愿望。

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There is no different way of saying the same thing; a different way is a different thing.

同一件事没有不同的说法;不同的方法是不同的事。

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We seek not rest but transformation. We are dancing through each other as doorways.

我们寻求的不是休息，而是变革。 我们跳着舞穿过彼此的门。

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You cannot survive if you do not know the past.

如果你不了解过去，你就无法生存。

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