A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
搞笑
Funny
But boy, right away it is fun to play around with the Paintbox program.
但是，孩子们，玩彩盒程序是很有趣的。
I used to have six left feet. Now I only have one and a half left feet.
我以前笨手笨脚的。现在我只剩下一只半左脚了。
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
当我出生的时候，我很惊讶我有一年半没有说话。
I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!
我很想加入一个社团，用它来打败你!
Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish?
为什么不试着把你的生活想象成欢乐而不是噩梦?
You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake.
你这个小水果蛋糕，你这个小水果蛋糕，我说过你是个水果蛋糕。
A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
食人族是指一个人走进一家餐馆，点了一个服务员。
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
我不会唱歌，不会跳舞，也不会演戏;除了做脱口秀主持人，我还能做什么呢?
My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
我的姐姐们说:“你为什么做那些鬼脸?”你把自己弄得这么丑。
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
善待你的岳母，但要为她在好旅馆的膳宿费买单。
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
我是一个了不起的管家。每次我离开一个人，我都守着他的家。
Normal love isn't interesting. I assure you that it's incredibly boring.
正常的爱情并不有趣。我向你保证，它非常无聊。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
Learning is the indispensable investment required for success in the 'information age' we are entering.
在我们即将进入的“信息时代”，学习是成功必不可少的投资。
When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.
当我们的记忆超过了我们的梦想，我们就变老了。
What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.
虽然青春给了我们爱情和玫瑰，但岁月给我们留下了朋友和美酒。
In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.
生活中，所有美好的事物都来之不易，但智慧却是最难获得的。
Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be taken seriously. Yet most of the important things in life cannot be precisely defined or measured. Can we define or measure love, beauty, friendship, or decency, for example?
我们的科学时代要求我们提供定义、测量和统计数据，以便被认真对待。然而，生活中大多数重要的事情都无法精确定义或衡量。例如，我们能定义或衡量爱、美、友谊或体面吗?
Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
年龄似乎有四样东西是最好的:旧木头最好烧，陈酒最好喝，老朋友最好信任，老作家最好读。