A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
People soon get tired of things that aren't boring, but not of what is boring.
人们很快就会厌倦不无聊的事情，但不会厌倦无聊的事情。
I made a deal with sharks. I don't swim near them and they don't play cricket.
我和鲨鱼做了个交易。我不在他们附近游泳，他们也不打板球。
So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.
所以它不在我的房子里。无论在哪里，我看起来都对厕所了如指掌。
Every other girl in school thinks you're the hottest thing since the microwave.
学校里的每个女生都认为你是微波炉之后最性感的人。
The definition of Brevity: That which people believe would be a virtue - in me!
简洁的定义:人们认为简洁是一种美德——在我身上!
Tact: the ability to tell a man he's open-minded when he has a hole in his head.
机智:当一个男人脑袋上有个洞的时候，告诉他他思想开放的能力。
A brain the size of a pea, cannot achieve what a brain the size of a melon can!!
一个豌豆大小的大脑，无法达到西瓜大小的大脑所能达到的!!
Time to start getting more sleep. This beautiful physique needs royal treatment.
是时候开始多睡觉了。这种美丽的体格需要皇家治疗。
My head is too large, although I prefer to think it is large enough for my mind.
我的脑袋太大了，尽管我更愿意认为我的脑袋足够大。
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
当一个男人偷走了你的妻子，没有什么比让他拥有她更好的报复了。
If you want the extra-ordinary, you've got to be willing to forsake the ordinary.
如果你想要与众不同，你必须愿意放弃平凡。
Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.
对于一般男人来说，婚姻是洗衣服最昂贵的方式。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
如果不是因为物理和执法，我将势不可挡。
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
为了找回我的青春，我愿意做任何事情，除了锻炼，早起，或者做一个受人尊敬的人。
I don't know the rules of grammar... If you're trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular.
我不懂语法规则……如果你试图说服人们做某事，或者买东西，在我看来，你应该使用他们的语言，他们每天使用的语言，他们思考的语言。我们尽量用方言写作。
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.
解释一个笑话就像解剖一只青蛙。你能更好地理解，但青蛙在这个过程中死了。
Interest? What's money interested in? More money.
兴趣?钱感兴趣的是什么?更多的钱。
Through the door came a being of intense vivacity, impeccable sartorial integrity, and intermittent intelligibility.
从门里进来的是一个充满活力的存在，无可挑剔的服装完整性，断断续续的可理解性。