A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
我最近读到，爱情完全是一种化学反应。那一定是我妻子把我当有毒废物对待的原因。
With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.
他有了栖身之所，停止了工作，靠养老金和智力生活，两者都远远不够。
Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring.
很多人声称咖啡能激励他们，但众所周知，咖啡只会让无聊的人变得更无聊。
I learned early and at that kitchen table that there are ways of avoiding, without guilt, the commitments of love.
我很早就知道，在厨房的餐桌上，有一些方法可以避免，没有罪恶感，爱的承诺。
I mean, it's a good job we've got a last desperate million-to-one chance to rely on, or we'd really be in trouble!
我的意思是，这是一个好工作，我们有最后一个绝望的百万分之一的机会来依靠，否则我们真的会有麻烦!
Neither of the two people in the room paid any attention to the way I came in, although only one of them was dead.
房间里的两个人都没有注意我进来的路，虽然只有一个人死了。
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
我记得我被绑架的时候，他们把我的一根手指给了我父亲。他说他想要更多的证据。
If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.
如果他是一个意志坚强的人，这只会使他发作;但是一个智力一般的人通常会因此而发疯。
A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.
相信所有人的人是傻瓜，不相信任何人的人是傻瓜。如果我们活得足够长，我们都是傻瓜。
Who or what inspires you? I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
是谁或什么激励着你? 我必须承认，我经常阅读自己在科学期刊上的文章，并激励自己。
If I have to face the end of human existence, I want to look totally smoking when it happens. Now shut the hell up.
如果我必须面对人类存在的终结，当它发生的时候，我想看起来完全吸烟。现在给我闭嘴。
The more you say the more people know about you, make it a point that you say the most sense as little as possible.
你说的越多，人们对你的了解就越多，所以要尽可能少说最有意义的话。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
我所知道的幽默就是我对它一无所知。
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
为了找回我的青春，我愿意做任何事情，除了锻炼，早起，或者做一个受人尊敬的人。
Network administrators all share an abiding and passionate desire for one thing: We want our users to shut up.
网络管理员都有一个持久而热情的愿望:我们希望我们的用户闭嘴。
The brain can be a dangerous thing. Even more so if you haven't got one.
大脑是一个危险的东西。如果你没有，那就更不用说了。
Stop worrying about life, no one survived it.
别再担心生活了，没人能活下来。
It's good to let your mind wonder, as long as you know where it's going.
让你的大脑思考是有好处的，只要你知道它要去哪里。