A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
幽默
Humour
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
没有人会在摆弄电脑的时候毫发无伤的逃过一劫。
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
如果不是因为物理和执法，我将势不可挡。
What you don't know can't hurt you; so not knowing you's a virtue.
你不知道的不会伤害你;所以不认识你是一种美德。
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
我感谢笑声，除了牛奶从我鼻子里出来的时候。
How come every squitty little shitty snotty bastard knows my name?
为什么每个臭小子都知道我的名字?
I'd like to think...that people in pubs would talk about my poems.
我想……酒吧里的人会谈论我的诗。
The past is truly an inoperable tumor that spreads to the present.
过去确实是一个无法手术的肿瘤，它会扩散到现在。
Humour is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
幽默是迄今为止人类大脑最重要的活动。
Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.
一只手拿着愿望，另一只手拿着大便，看看哪一只填得更快。
Conclusion: better to be a thinking monk than a postmodern thinker.
结论:做一个有思想的和尚比做一个后现代思想家更好。
You have to make choices even when there is nothing to choose from.
即使没有选择的余地，你也要做出选择。
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
不要把生活看得太严肃。你永远无法活着离开这里。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
我所知道的幽默就是我对它一无所知。
Stop worrying about life, no one survived it.
别再担心生活了，没人能活下来。
The great are eternally at the mercy of tiny men. And also, tiny madwomen.
伟人永远受小人的支配。还有，小疯女人。
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
根本没有必要做任何家务。头四年过去了，情况并没有变得更糟。
Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk.
现在我知道这似乎与你的本能背道而驰，但我要请你安静地坐着，否则我就把你放进后备箱。
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
如果你想让上帝发笑，告诉他你的计划。