It's like geographical humor. You just don't get it unless you were there.

就像地域幽默。除非你在场，否则你不会明白的。

It's not me who can't keep a secret. It's the people I tell that can't.

不是我不能保守秘密。我告诉那些人不能。

It's not something you tell your single best friend. It'd be like rubbing your nose in the poop of my happiness.

这不是你告诉你最好的单身朋友的事情。这就像在我幸福的粪便里揉鼻子。

It's raining like a cow relieving itself.

雨下得很大。

It’s a tricky business, nurturing that aura of unapproachability.

这是一件棘手的事情，会营造出一种难以接近的气氛。

I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

我想在约会网站上创建一个个人简介，标题是“伟大的倾听者寻找沉默的女人”。

I’d said it before and meant it.Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.

我以前说过，而且是认真的。无论活着还是不死，我一生的挚爱都是个坏蛋。

I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep.

我是一个强大的存在。我把黑夜变成了白天。我甚至都没试过!我只是等待着。我打赌我甚至可以在睡梦中做这件事。

I’m always the last in love by exactly one person.

我总是最后一个坠入爱河的人。

I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.

我不会等到头发变白才变得有耐心和明智。不，我今晚要染头发。

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.

我比我自己大。至少我会，一旦我的克隆人来了。

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

我太累了…我整晚都没睡，想把无穷大四舍五入。

I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.

我是个酒鬼，我去教堂只是为了参加圣餐。

I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?

我一生都在为做自己而奋斗。如果我不能拥有一个值得我为之奋斗的人，那么做我自己又有什么意义呢?

Jazz can be so serious, no sense of humor.

爵士乐可以这么严肃，没有幽默感。