Let me express how much I don't care on a scale from one to bite me.

让我来表达一下我有多不在乎从一到咬我。

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

生活不是模仿艺术，而是模仿糟糕的电视节目。

Life is like a boner: long and hard.

人生就像一条博纳尔曲线:漫长而艰难。

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

生活就像一盒巧克力。你永远不知道你会得到什么。

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

生活似乎只是一连串忙忙碌碌的小事。

Life sucks, and then you die...

生活糟透了，然后你死了……

Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead.

如果死去的东西有尊严地继续死去，生活将会容易得多。

Looks like Kelsey wins the award for early riser. And doesn’t she look purtier than a pat of butter meltin’ all over a stack of griddle cakes?

看起来凯尔西因为早起而获奖。她看起来不就比一堆煎锅蛋糕上的一小块黄油还要干净吗?

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

爱可以改变一个人，就像父母可以改变一个婴儿一样——很尴尬，而且往往会带来很大的混乱。

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

爱是一辆雪车，在苔原上飞驰，然后突然翻转过来，把你压在下面。晚上，冰鼬鼠来了。

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground.

爱情就像没有降落伞跳出飞机。但是没有必要害怕，因为那架飞机还在地面上。

Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.

爱情就像学骑侏儒，我从来没骑过，因为我恐高。

Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe.

爱就像哇!实际上，这更接近灾难。

Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling.

爱是世界上最奇妙的感觉。让我再检查一下。是的，爱是一种感觉。

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

爱是你创造出来的。很遗憾，我今天不能来，因为我和医生有约。