A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

喜剧演员的身体很有趣，他的思想也很有趣，他的整个性格也很有趣。

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

结论是你厌倦思考的地方。

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

每天喝一杯可以远离心理医生。

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.

一个足球可以换成一块砖头，让家庭团聚的足球比赛更有趣。但我现在就决定:我要当四分卫。

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

朋友不会因为你胖而节食。

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.

在我去白宫的路上发生了一件有趣的事。

A good and true woman is said to resemble a Cremona fiddle: age but increases its worth and sweetens its tone.

据说一个善良而真实的女人就像一把克雷莫纳小提琴:随着年龄的增长，小提琴的价值会增加，音调也会变甜。

A good quote should inspire individuals to go lower the world's population one person at a time.

一句好的格言应该激励人们一次降低一个人的世界人口。

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight.

一个好的故事应该引发讨论、辩论、辩论……偶尔的酒吧斗殴。

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

一个好妻子总是原谅她的丈夫当她错了。

A graceful and honorable old age is the childhood of immortality.

优雅尊贵的晚年是不朽的童年。

A great many things have been pronounced untrue and absurd, and even impossible, by the highest authorities in the age in which they lived, which have afterwards, and, indeed, within a very short period, been found to be both possible and true.

他们所生活的那个时代的最高权威曾说过许多事情都是不真实的，荒谬的，甚至是不可能的。后来，甚至在很短的时间内，人们发现这些事情都是可能的，也是真实的。

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

医院的病床是一辆停着计价器的出租车。

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

法官是给自己的试卷打分的法律系学生。

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

谎言还没等真相穿好裤子，就已经绕了半个地球了。