I just am a snob when it comes to humor.

说到幽默，我就是个势利小人。

I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it.

我把我的爱放在冰箱里，放在我的肉旁边，因为你根本无法打败它。

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.

我知道我五岁的时候就开始写故事了。我不知道在那之前我做了什么。我想只是闲逛。

I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

我在危险面前笑。然后我藏起来直到它消失。

I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card.

我喜欢真正的朋友，有幽默感，一双好鞋和一张健康的金卡。

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

我喜欢有头脑的女人。我讨厌的脖子。

I like nonsence, it wakes up the brain cells.

我喜欢无知觉，它唤醒脑细胞。

I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... And that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.

我喜欢胡言乱语——它能唤醒脑细胞。幻想是生活的必要组成部分。这是一种用错误的望远镜观察生命的方式…这让你可以嘲笑生活中的所有现实。

I like talking to a brick wall- it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me!

我喜欢对着一堵砖墙说话——这是世界上唯一一件不会反驳我的话!

I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser.

我喜欢投票，但不被投票。我不介意一对一输掉比赛，但是通过投票输掉比赛意味着大多数人认为我是个失败者。

I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze.

我喜欢在心怀恶意时写作。这就像打了个好喷嚏。

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

我喜欢工作;它让我着迷。我可以坐着看几个小时。

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

当我不懂的时候，我更喜欢它们。

I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.

我周末瘦了一点。我剪指甲。

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

我爱米老鼠胜过我所认识的任何女人。