I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time.

我微笑，你眨眼。我认为。也许你一次只眨一只眼睛。

I take my hat off to you — or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you in spiders.

我向你脱帽致敬——或者，如果我不怕把你淋得满身蜘蛛的话，我愿意脱帽致敬。

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

在我朋友的葬礼上，我唯一的一项运动就是充当护柩者，我的朋友们经常锻炼。

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

我想我做得很好，考虑到我一开始只有一堆白纸。

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

我想我已经发现了生命的秘密——你就在这里等着，直到你习惯为止。

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

我认为搞笑不是任何人的第一选择。

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

我觉得鱼很好吃，但我又觉得雨是湿的，我凭什么去评判呢?

I think it's because it's so different and it takes risks. Plus, it's really smart humor. It gives the audience credit in terms of not needing to tell them when to laugh. I love that about the show. There's no laugh track.

我认为这是因为它是如此的不同，它需要冒险。另外，这是非常聪明的幽默。它让观众无需告诉他们什么时候该笑，从而获得了信任。我喜欢这个节目。没有笑的痕迹。

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.

我认为解决问题的第二件最好的事情就是从中找到一些幽默。

I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor.

我认为世界上最可怕的人是没有幽默感的人。

I think we should take a break, fill our little tummies and drink up.

我想我们应该休息一下，填饱肚子喝个痛快。

I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.

我认为如果你同时笑，你会学到更多。

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

我把真相告诉了我妻子。我告诉她我要去看心理医生。然后她告诉我真相:她在看精神病医生，两个水管工和一个酒保。

I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not.

不管需要与否，我每年都会用我的历史学位两次。

I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird.

我曾经认为任何做奇怪事情的人都是奇怪的。我突然意识到，任何做奇怪事情的人都一点也不奇怪，说自己奇怪的人才是奇怪的人。