I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.

我的任何一个发现都不是通过理性思考的过程得到的。

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

我每次旅行都带着日记。每个人都应该在火车上读一些耸人听闻的东西。

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

我从不担心饮食。我唯一感兴趣的胡萝卜是钻石里的数字。

I once again fought against the desire to bitch-slap a faerie.

我又一次抑制住了想给仙子一巴掌的欲望。

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

我曾经有一朵玫瑰以我的名字命名，我感到非常荣幸。但我不喜欢读目录上的描述:躺在床上不行，靠在墙上倒挺好。

I prefer to make up my own quotes and attribute them to very smart people, so that I can use them to win arguments.

我更喜欢自己写引言，并把它们归功于非常聪明的人，这样我就可以用它们来赢得辩论。

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.

我试着一直保持一种困惑的状态，只是因为它在我脸上留下的表情。

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

我把速溶咖啡放进微波炉里，差点让时光倒流。

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

我在家里的镜子上贴上胶带，这样我就不会不小心走进另一个空间。

I quote others only to better express myself.

我引用别人的话只是为了更好地表达自己。

I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I'll never be sane.

我真的相信，或者我想相信，我真的是疯了，否则我永远不会理智。

I really should come with a warning label.

我真的应该带个警告标签。

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

我记得我被绑架的时候，他们把我的一根手指给了我父亲。他说他想要更多的证据。

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

我看你是个有理想的人。我最好在你还没拿到之前就走。

I sense a learning: that much dumber people than you end up in charge.

我感觉到一种学习:比你笨得多的人最终掌握了主动权。