I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.

我喜欢当巫师。每一天都像迪斯尼乐园。

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

我喜欢当作家。我不能忍受的是文书工作。

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

我喜欢最后期限。我喜欢它们经过时发出的嗖嗖声。

I love humor. I always will fall back on humor. That's something that I think you can't ever get enough of and, if it's done well, it's great. When it's bad, it's horrible.

我喜欢幽默。我总是会求助于幽默。这是我认为你永远无法得到足够的东西，如果它做得好，它是伟大的。当它是坏的，它是可怕的。

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

我爱人类;我受不了这些人。

I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.

我喜欢新衣服。如果每个人都能每天穿新衣服，我想抑郁症就不会存在了。

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.

我喜欢跑步。我不喜欢马拉松，但我喜欢以更快的速度避免问题。

I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!

我说到做到，说到做到。大象百分之百的忠诚!

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

我一定有惊人的头脑;有时候，我需要一个星期的时间来弥补!

I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor.

我需要一个警告:湿的时候很滑，因为我刚刚把我的自我意识溅得满地都是。

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.

我从来没有骂过他们。我只是说了实话，他们却认为那是地狱。

I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I.

我从未失败。只是我周围的人比我更成功。

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

我从来不会忘记一张脸，但对你来说，我很乐意破例。

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

我从来没有恨到把钻石还给他的程度。

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.

我一生中从未犯过错误;至少，从来没有一个是我事后无法解释清楚的。