If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by your glances, your wishes. It even shares your humor. This happens about the fifth year. If it doesn't happen you are only keeping an animal.

如果狗不把你放在第一位，你们两个在哪里?在什么关系?狗需要上帝。它依靠你的眼神，你的愿望而存在。它甚至和你一样幽默。这大约发生在第五年。如果这种情况没有发生，你只是养了一只动物。

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?

若绝对的权力绝对败坏，绝对的无能能使你纯洁吗?

If all the girls attending  were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

如果所有参加聚会的女孩都是首尾相连的，我一点也不会感到惊讶。

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

如果所有女人都透露自己的年龄，男人之间就没有什么可以隐瞒的了。

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

如果一开始你没有成功，尝试，再尝试。然后退出。犯傻也没用。

If at first you don't wake up try, try again.

如果一开始你没有醒来，再试一次。

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.

如果猫看起来像青蛙，我们就会意识到它们是多么可恶、残忍的小杂种。

If it feels good, enjoy it. If it doesn’t, adjust your position until it does.

如果感觉很好，享受它。如果没有，调整你的位置直到它出现。

If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams.

如果是奇美拉警报，我们只是跟着尖叫声。

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

如果你花一分钱买你的想法，然后你投入了你的两分钱，那么某人，某个地方正在赚一分钱。

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

如果我们人类是宇宙中唯一的物种这是真的，那么我不得不说，宇宙的目标很低，而且停留的时间很短。

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

如果我们人类是宇宙中唯一的物种这是真的，那么我不得不说，宇宙的目标很低，而且停留的时间很短。

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

如果今天外面是零度，明天应该是现在的两倍冷，那么明天会有多冷呢?

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.

如果我的医生告诉我只有六分钟的生命，我不会沉思。我会打字快一点。

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

如果一个人没有幽默感，他就有麻烦了。