I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?

我会让他们把恶魔学课本上的条目从“几乎灭绝”改成“对亚历克来说还不够灭绝”。他宁愿他的怪物真的，真的灭绝。“你会高兴吗?”

I'll not listen to reason... reason always means what someone else has got to say.

我不听道理……理智总是意味着别人要说的话。

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

任何事情我都会尝试一次，两次，如果我喜欢，三次来确定。

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

我是一个快乐的人。如果你想和我在一起，你也可以选择快乐，或者按照指示走到最近的出口!

I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.

我是一个诗人，我喜欢我母亲编造谎言的方式。

I'm an amateur at life. I'll let you know when I go pro.

我是个业余爱好者。当我成为职业球员时我会告诉你的。

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.

我是个无神论者，我为此感谢上帝。

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

我是纯洁的。

I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.

我相信责任是一种心理疾病。

I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane.

我要处理很多可怕的事情。我认为你必须对它们做出反应。你要么嘲笑他们，要么发疯。

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

我没有任何偏见。我恨每个人都一样。

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.

我在回顾我过去的生活。我确信他们中的一些人还欠我钱。

I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.

我很幸运，现实生活中的妈妈对自己既有很强的幽默感，又有一种惊人的能力，如果话题太过贴近家庭，她就会完全否认。

I'm man enough to know when to scream.

我是个男人，知道什么时候该尖叫。

I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.

我不是研究马来西亚幽默感的专家。