A COLLECTION OF GOOD WORDS
搞笑
Funny
Egbert, is it true that married people live longer? No, it just seems longer.
埃格伯特，已婚人士的寿命真的更长吗?不，只是看起来更长。
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
我开玩笑说我只有几美元。我可能还有几美元。
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
女人唯一真正成功地改变男人的时候是在他还是个婴儿的时候。
There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'
总有一篇文章说，“新事物是有趣的女人!”
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
我洗了一只袜子。然后我把它放进烘干机里。当我把它拿出来的时候，它不见了。
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
历史是人们决定同意的过去事件的版本。
He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.
他咯咯地笑着，就像一只小狗被一只穿着小鸭服装的小猫逗乐一样。
I know they are all environmentalists. I heard a lot of my speeches recycled.
我知道他们都是环保主义者。我听到我的许多演讲被重复使用。
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
可以去买一件泳衣，之后不会感到沮丧。
So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny.
所以，我是世界第八大奇迹。这是奉承，非常，非常有趣。
A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
毯子真能铺床。也是件好事，因为我从来不铺床。
Taking pleasure in the happiness of others – if only our age was so decadent.
以他人的幸福为乐——要是我们的年龄如此颓废就好了。
KEEP EXPLORING
沿着这个主题，再读几句。
What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.
有什么能比一位随着年龄增长而变得聪明的亲爱的老太太更美丽呢?只要你活在其中，每个时代都是迷人的。
Age appears to be best in four things, - old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
年龄似乎有四样东西是最好的:旧木头最好烧，陈酒最好喝，老朋友最好信任，老作家最好读。
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
当我们回忆过去的时候，我们通常会发现，那些最简单的事情，而不是那些伟大的时刻，在我们回想的时候，会给我们带来最大的快乐。
Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.
生活只是一场梦，我们是自己的想象。
In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.
生活中，所有美好的事物都来之不易，但智慧却是最难获得的。
What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.
虽然青春给了我们爱情和玫瑰，但岁月给我们留下了朋友和美酒。