Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

站起来真的很有趣，因为如果我想到一个笑话或一个有趣的想法，我就可以去告诉一些人，如果他们笑了，他们马上就笑了。

Strangers make restless bedfellows, especially when bedbugs are your only acquaintances.

陌生人是不安分的同床异梦者，尤其是当臭虫是你唯一的熟人时。

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces.

力量就是徒手将一块巧克力掰成四块，然后吃掉其中一块的能力。

Style is not how you write. It is how you do not write like anyone else.

风格不是你写作的方式。这就是你不像其他人那样写作的原因。

Take hold of this (charm) that subjects to immortality (life), may thy life unto old age not be cut off! I bring to thee anew breath and life, not to mist and darkness, do.

求你持守这使你得永生的咒诅，免得你的寿数断绝，直到永远。我给你带来新的气息和生命，而不是雾和黑暗。

Taking pleasure in the happiness of others – if only our age was so decadent.

以他人的幸福为乐——要是我们的年龄如此颓废就好了。

Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.

谈话是迄今为止最容易获得的乐趣。它不花钱，它是所有的利润，它完成我们的教育，建立和培养我们的友谊，可以享受在任何年龄和几乎任何健康状态。

Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning.

老师:通过个人榜样激励学生反抗学习的大师。

Technically available. Emotionally taken.

技术上可行的。情感上。

Television has raised writing to a new low.

电视把写作提高到一个新的低点。

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.

告诉我我很聪明，我很善良，我很有天赋，我很可爱，我很敏感，优雅和聪明，告诉我我很完美——但是告诉我真相。

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

感恩节是一个充满感情的节日。人们千里迢迢只为和那些他们一年只见一次的人在一起。然后发现一年一次太频繁了。

That boy may have been born on third base but he sure as shit ain’t scored a triple.

那个男孩可能出生在三垒上，但他肯定没有得到三分。

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

已婚夫妇能够日复一日地生活在一起，这是梵蒂冈一直忽视的奇迹。

That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.

这是年老的标志，以牺牲现在来颂扬过去。